The Phantom was in Civic yesterday. His mission was to find The Phantom. Fortunately he found a copy on his second attempt and didn’t have to leave any skull imprints in anyone’s jaw.

Being the hero that he is he also endured a number of other challenges: being strapped to a chair to witness the defeat of Balmain in their last grand final, playing two hours of indoor sports at CISAC (Soccer, Cricket, Dodgeball and a variation on Poison Ball) in psychadelic tights and a sports bra, and dining at The Lighthouse back in his purple suit.

Later, at a safehouse, he had to disguise himself in a schoolgirl’s dress, answer Star Wars trivia questions and nominate which of his posse would toast him and what drink they would join him in. I toasted his generosity and we had tequila. Others partook in the beer bong and shotgunning cans.

A while after his encounter with the constabulary, Mr Walker shared much of the alcohol he’d consumed and then departed to the Skull Cave in his slumber.

[Tags: Bachelor Party, Canberra, Australia]